Dark Waltz
by mindpalace hell charlottesweb
Summary: Sherlock and John discover that their relationship is more than just friendship. However, how will John reconcile his relationship with Mary and Sherlock? Will they find a balance or will the struggle tear them apart?


John had moved in with Sherlock temporarily until he worked out things with Mary. They both sat in their chairs as usual, however, there was something different, things did not have that comfortable feel that there used to be. Sherlock was in one of his black moods staring moodily out the window. John watched Sherlock as he shifted uncomfortably in his chair his brows knitted together.  
"Sherlock, are you okay?" John asked as he leaned forward in his chair.  
Sherlock scowled. "It's nothing. This bandage is bothering me that's all."  
Sherlock was recovering from a gunshot wound and John was concerned. He walked over to where Sherlock sat. "Sherlock let me take a look."  
Sherlock rolled his eyes. "Fine, John take a look, if that's what it will take for you to stop yammering on."  
John lifted up the back of Sherlock's shirt; the bandage had a spot of light seepage coming through. John gently removed the bandage. "Sherlock, just leave your shirt up. I am going to get a couple of things from my bag."  
When John came back he washed out the wound and applied another bandage. Sherlock's white skin was perfect and John's fingers lingered longer than he had intended. Quickly, John pulled his hand back.  
When Sherlock finally spoke, John nearly jumped out of his skin. "John," Sherlock whispered. "I think you need to readjust the bandage, it is bothering me.  
John frowned. He lifted up Sherlock's shirt again. The bandage seemed fine to him. "Sherlock, everything looks fine."  
"John, do you think I am the most observant person you've ever known?"  
For some reason John shivered, Sherlock's low dulcet voice made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. "Sherlock, yes you are the most observant person I have ever met. Why are you asking me this?"  
Sherlock slipped off his shirt and stood before John. John didn't back up as Sherlock stepped into his personal space.  
John's heart was pounding as Sherlock locked eyes with him; Sherlock's eyes looked almost black they were so dilated. There wasn't a sound in the room except the music that blared from Sherlock's computer, it was Holiday by Greenday.  
They listened to the music for a moment and then Sherlock looked back at John with such intensity that John thought he was going to pass out. Sherlock reached forward and put his hands on John's hips. John tensed but didn't move as Sherlock pulled John's pelvis closer to him. Sherlock then brought his lips so close to John that John could feel Sherlock's warm breath on his lips. John was as tight as a stone statue; however, he made no attempt to pull away as Sherlock's lips met his. John thought he was going to faint when Sherlock slipped his tongue in his mouth. They stood there kissing each exploring the inside of the other's mouth. Sherlock then pulled John towards him by the waist of his jeans and unbuckled John's pants. John began to moan slightly when Sherlock ran his tongue along the side of his jaw. John began to lose his balance he felt so dizzy. Sherlock supported John's lower back until they were on the floor. "Sherlock oh Sherlock please take me," John gasped.  
Sherlock firmly pulled John closer. "John, you pick the worst times to talk. Stop talking."  
John thought he would die of pleasure, as Sherlock found every responsive spot on his body.  
Sherlock needed no encouragement as he slowly began to make John his, stopping only occasionally to re adjust so that he could be closer to John.  
"God, John I love you so much," Sherlock breathed as he buried his face in John's chest. Sherlock took a breath and then took off the rest of his clothes.  
John kissed Sherlock on the back of the neck. "Sherlock, are you okay? You are shaking so hard."  
"For God's sake John, shut up." Sherlock hissed.  
Partly in anger from Sherlock's disappearance and partly in the need for Sherlock, John's sexual rhythm was uncontrolled. The more he made love to Sherlock the more John wanted to make Sherlock his. Sherlock's breath came out in gasped rhythms that matched John's love making."Sherlock, Sherlock, God how I love you, I am going to make sure you will never want to leave me again." John voice sounded harsh and he didn't care.

"Oh, God, yes," Sherlock groaned. Sherlock then collapsed on the floor, gasping for air.  
John threw himself down next to Sherlock and pulled him in his arms. Sherlock was pale and sweaty and John would never forgive himself if he had hurt Sherlock. John brushed the hair from Sherlock's damp forehead. "Sherlock, my love, did I hurt you? I am so sorry." John took Sherlock's pulse, it was racing. John then began to kiss Sherlock tenderly.

John didn't like how pale Sherlock was, so he gently pulled away. "Sherlock, let's rest."  
Sherlock nodded his breath was still coming out in ragged gasps. John began to rub Sherlock's back. He wanted to check the bandage. John frowned at the red scars that stood out on Sherlock's back."Sherlock, move toward the light." John ordered. Sherlock complied, as John looked at his back closely. "Good God, Sherlock these look like whip scars."  
Sherlock moved out of the light. "John, those are a souvenir from my time in Eastern Europe."  
John's eyes darkened in anger. "It was that bastard Mycroft, wasn't it?"  
Sherlock met John's eyes with such a sad smile that John felt a pang in his chest.  
"John, you know what I thought when I was being beaten? I was thinking that you were safe and that was all that mattered. Each lash reminded me that I deserved the pain. It broke my heart to see you at the cemetery. My darling, sweet, sexy Doctor the need for you was so great at times that I am surprised you never noticed. I just figured that I could never have you and so it would be easier to stay away. I was wrong."  
John began to lick behind Sherlock's ear. "Sherlock, you are such a hypocrite, you are softer than you would have others believe."  
Sherlock moved closer to John. "Not everywhere Doctor."  
"So much for resting," John thought. John had never felt as excited as when he looked down at his beloved Sherlock. John had never really screamed during sex, but he did this time.  
"OH GOD." John's breath came out in frantic gasps, like a la mas coach. John then collapsed on Sherlock. Sherlock's blue eyes were shiny with lust as John ran his mouth down Sherlock's stomach. John's tongue was everywhere. John loved the sounds of pleasure Sherlock made as John made love to him. John felt he was going to lose his mind in hysteria as the pressure built up inside him, then he and Sherlock released together. Sherlock and John's bodies were both slick from sweat as John lay on top of Sherlock panting. They lay there for about ten minutes, and then Sherlock spoke.  
"John, are you alright?" Sherlock asked. There was no answer. "John?" Sherlock asked again. John felt heavy on top of him as Sherlock struggled to squeeze out from underneath. "John, come on quit screwing around." Sherlock's voice had a frantic edge to it. "Fuck," Sherlock thought. "I just fucked John unconscious." Sherlock wriggled out from beneath John and rolled John over on his back. John's eyes were closed and his breathing was shallow. Sherlock grabbed John's wrist to check his pulse, it was then that John opened his eyes.  
"Gottcha," John laughed.  
Sherlock got up angrily. "Fuck you John that was a dirty trick"  
John got up from the floor. "Excuse me, you fucking little hypocrite. Multiply that feeling a thousand times and you still won't come close to feeling what I suffered over you."  
Sherlock stood with his head down, the tears streaming down his face. John's expression softened.  
"Oh, Sherlock come here." John whispered as he held out his arms to Sherlock. Sherlock stood by himself, shivering. John pulled Sherlock into an embrace. "Sherlock, Sherlock my sweet darling. I sometimes forget that you do have feelings." John stroked the back of Sherlock's head. "Ssh, Sherlock, Doctor's orders."  
Sherlock pulled out of John's grasp. "Gottcha, John."  
John started to laugh. "You are such a fucking little piss ant. Do you still have that riding crop? Because I think someone needs a spanking."  
Sherlock came back a moment later with the riding crop in his hand. "Doctor I have been bad punish me."  
John hadn't had so much sex since he had been in college. "I hope I can keep up." John thought. John could feel himself starting to lose control as he tried experimented with Sherlock physically.  
"Sherlock, I'm starting to lose control. Maybe we should stop." John gasped.  
"No, Sherlock begged, don't stop what you're doing." John couldn't have stopped if he tried. Sherlock felt so light headed that he felt as if he was going to pass out. Sherlock lay back gasping aloud. "Oh God, John, John. Jesus, John I love you. You will be the death of me yet. You will break my heart"  
John got his breathing under control. "Sherlock, what are you talking about? I would never break your heart."  
Sherlock's eyes looked so wise and sad that John swallowed. "Whatever you say John darling, I am just repeating something Irene told me."  
John frowned. "So, you won't listen to me, but you will listen to a woman who claims she is gay, and then tries to seduce you. Did she succeed? I mean you wrote that sad song for her and mooned around not eating."  
Sherlock smiled. "Irene always said you wanted me and that you were jealous of her. John, I wrote the song for you, the thought I could never touch or hold you nearly drove me insane and no, I've never slept with a woman."  
John frowned. "What about Jeannie?"  
"Nope, just a little foreplay and a bath or two together." Sherlock met John's gaze full on.  
"So, you've always been gay, then?" John asked.  
Sherlock smiled that sad smile that drove John nuts. "John, you are the first person I have slept with."  
John felt the blood drain from his face. "Oh God, Sherlock, and I was so rough with you."  
"My clean shaven Doctor, don't tell me you are going to lose your composure now? I may not have actually slept with another person, however, I have watched tons of porn on the computer and I have experimented by myself."  
"You mean when I thought you were hard at work on your computer, you were actually watching porn?" John sounded outraged.  
"John, I assure you I was hard at work. Very hard, in fact one time I was jerking myself off under the table while you sat in your chair. I sometimes would sneak into your room at night just to watch you sleep. I remember there were times that I hurt I wanted you so bad."  
John snuggled next to Sherlock. "My poor darling Sherlock, you have suffered. Oh, and please never think I will hurt you. I would rather die first. Now let's get some sleep. Maybe we should get a shower first." John breathed in the smell of Sherlock. He smelt like sweat, sex, and something else a sweet yet strong arid odor. John breathed deep and licked Sherlock's arm. "Never mind I love the way you smell right now. If I had any blood pressure left in me I would take you now. You know the night we went out and got drunk and ended up at the gay bar? I had such a wet dream about you taking me bareback that I soaked our sheets and had to tell Mary that it was about her."  
Sherlock and John lay in bed kissing and fondling each other. Eventually John fell asleep in Sherlock's arms. Sherlock didn't sleep he just watched John. He loved John so much his chest hurt. "I'm going to have to let him go." Sherlock thought. "It's going to hurt so badly, but I must let him go. Irene, was right, John has already broken my heart" Sherlock didn't sleep all night. It was about 3am when John stirred in his arms.  
"Sherlock, haven't you been to sleep?" John asked with concern.  
"Yes, I got some sleep," Sherlock lied.  
John studied Sherlock's face and he didn't like what he saw. Sherlock looked terrible, his pallor was waxen and John could see the dark circles under his eyes even from the dim light on the nightstand. Sherlock slid away from John's grasp and went to his dresser and took out a pack of cigarettes. He took out the cigarette slowly, put it in his mouth then slowly inhaled. John felt his groin stir. Sherlock didn't smile as walked towards John; he just kept coming slowly inhaling and exhaling. When Sherlock got to the bed he jerked the sheet off of John and put the cigarette out in an ashtray on his nightstand. John lay back and smiled as Sherlock crawled on the bed towards him. John laid back and let Sherlock work. .  
"Sherlock, God oh Sherlock, I never even dreamed something like that was possible."  
Sherlock looked like a smug student and he bowed. "John, I have done a lot of studying. Don't forget I spent some time in India learning the ins and outs of the Kuma Sutra. I have learned many, many things."  
John pulled Sherlock down beside. "Sherlock I am your willing pupil. Teach me everything you learned. But first let's go get a shower."  
Sherlock hung back a little tracing the floor with his toe. "John, I only take baths."  
John laughed. "Sherlock, I swear you are such a little boy sometimes. I supposed you've got a rubber ducky too."  
Sherlock gave John that look that always made him shiver. "John, come and join me I have something much better than a rubber ducky."  
Sherlock lay in between John's legs as John gently washed his back with a sponge and warm soapy bath water. John thought there was no way he could probably be aroused, but when Sherlock's fingers reached back John leaned back in the bathtub and let Sherlock take over. John clumsily moved towards Sherlock as water splashed everywhere. John grabbed the sides of the bathtub and missed slipping into the water. John sputtered as water filled his nose and throat. Sherlock quickly pulled John up and out of the water. John couldn't catch his breath and slipped out of Sherlock's grasp. Sherlock finally got John out of the bathtub and panicked when he noticed John wasn't breathing. Sherlock bent down to see if he could feel John's breath on his cheek, there was nothing. John had taught Sherlock CPR, however, it was hard to keep calm as Sherlock pushed on John's chest. He finally tilted John's mouth and began mouth to mouth. Sherlock was starting to panic, when all of a sudden John sat up and threw up soapy bath water over them both.  
Sherlock took John's face between his hands. "John, John are you alright?"  
John coughed a few times nodding yes, and then when got his breath back John shook his head. "Well, you know what they say more accidents happen at home."  
Sherlock sat on the floor in stunned silence. For the first time he knew what it would be like if he lost John forever.  
"John, are sure you're okay?" Sherlock's voice had a hoarse edge to it.  
John was still sputtering a bit. "Sherlock' I'm fine. Really I am."  
Without a word Sherlock took John in his arms and held him tightly. John was the first to break away.  
"Sherlock, it's okay. I'm okay really." John's voice was reassuring as he put his hand underneath Sherlock's chin and lifted his head up so that he made full eye contact.  
John took a deep breath and cleared his throat; Sherlock had the ability to look so sad at times that John had trouble coming to grips with it.  
"Come, Sherlock, let's take a nap." John suggested with more cheer in his voice than he felt.  
Sherlock nodded and they slept the rest of the day away.  
The next few days were like a honeymoon for John and Sherlock, but like all wonderful things the expiration date of their happiness loomed ahead. When the bombshell hit Sherlock it was like a ton of bricks in the pit of his stomach.  
John sat at the table reading the paper, and Sherlock restlessly paced around in his robe with nothing on underneath. John smiled and grabbed at Sherlock as he walked by the table.  
"Hey Sherlock Mrs. Hudson is coming back tomorrow. You had better get used to wearing clothes."  
Sherlock sighed. "Clothes are boring. I don't think I'll wear them again."  
"Yes, you do look good in just a sheet. You know I desperately tried to look under your sheet that day in the palace."  
"John, come and look now." Sherlock's voice was low, husky and John felt desire sweeping through slipped off his robe and stood naked before John. John swallowed as his fingers made indentations in Sherlock's skin. Sherlock wrestled John to the ground and pulled open John's stripped robe.  
"Jesus, God, Sherlock, what's the hurry?" John was already starting to feel tight and uncomfortable.  
Sherlock's face was full of desire and excitement. Without waiting for John to reply Sherlock leaned back and took John in his 's pupils were totally dilated, which made his eyes look black. "John, we are going to have to coordinate our movements. Follow my lead."  
John couldn't possibly see how they were going to move, but he followed Sherlock's directions.  
Sweat was already pouring from John's forehead as he grunted in assent. John wanted to prolong the experience; however, he could tell that his body was going to betray him as he felt the pressure building up.  
"Sherlock, I'm almost there I'm not going to be able to hold back." John was starting to moan and shake.  
Sherlock delighted in John's ecstasy.  
They had both barely got their breath back when Sherlock spoke. "John, when are you leaving?"  
John marveled at Sherlock's ability to switch gears so quickly. "Jesus, Sherlock, have you been reading my phone texts?"  
Sherlock nodded and sighed. "John, of course how else would I know that Mary was out of town and now she is back at your flat? John, you can't ignore her forever."  
Angrily John pushed himself off the floor and walked out of the room.  
The next day Sherlock watched John pack in silence. When John grabbed the striped shirt that he wore so often and was going to pack it in a separate duffle bag, Sherlock stopped him.  
"John, wait give me that shirt. I need it for an experiment."  
"Sherlock, the shirt is dirty. What could you possible want with it?"  
Sherlock grabbed the shirt out of John's hands. "I need it for an experiment."  
John sighed. "Fine, take it."  
Sherlock couldn't bring himself to walk John down the stairs.  
John took Sherlock in an embrace and patted his back. "I love you Sherlock and somehow we will work this all out."  
Sherlock nodded and for the first time John noticed that Sherlock was dressed and pressed. Shirt perfectly ironed, long black coat, dress pants and the futile attempt he always made to control his fly away hair was obvious from the remnants of hair product in his curls. John nodded and then without another word left. Sherlock raced up the stairs so that he could watch John from the window. Sherlock hoped that John would turn around and wave, but he didn't, so Sherlock strained his eyes to watch John until he was out of sight.


End file.
